Sorry if this isn’t allowed, but I thought this might apply to someone in here. If not, please delete it. :-)This is a place for those in close relationships with a survivor of abuse. If you are dating, married to, living with, or close friends with a survivor, you are a supporter-this community is for you.
my gorgeous friend, gypsiewtch, wrote this message on her myspace account:It's back!For those of you who don't know, the website I was pimping last April (HealMyHeart.org) is back up and running, with a new co-maintainer! Erin now owns my soul for her generous offer to help me keep up to date...but ya'll aren't off the hook. I'm still asking (begging, pleading, damn it, I'm on my knees here and it's not even a kink thing) for any contributions you can make. Want to draw nifty new logos? Offer up stories? Maybe you have links I'm missing (I have a list compiled, and they might even hit the site sometime soon...)I'm also looking for anyone who doesn't suck at Dreamweaver to chat with me while I try to use it. I keep getting frustrated and throwing things. Erin is pretty damned good with it, but I'd like to at least be basically adept.If nothing else, go leave a comment in the guestbook. You know you want to. You know you love me. ;-)October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, guys. I'd like to make it a priority this year. One in seven women will be abused in her lifetime. Whether you are one, know one, or are hoping never to meet one...speak out.~Lainahttp://www.healmyheart.orgplease contact one or the both of us. we'd like to get this wonderful resource out in the public's eye.
This is a great song. Just read the lyrics. It's a metaphore you may not get the first time.( Read more...Collapse )
So I just found out that Matt at work has a thing for me. Chris (who is probably his closest guy friend at work) was saying that he flirts with some more than others and he can be read like a book. Normally I would be very happy except he has a GF in Russia. Damn
Shampoo150: yoSteVe0ThyVillian: can i help u?Shampoo150: gee thanksSteVe0ThyVillian: whos this ?Shampoo150: melSteVe0ThyVillian: mel ???SteVe0ThyVillian: anything i can help u with Shampoo150: melissaShampoo150: fine i thought u liked meShampoo150: bye thenSteVe0ThyVillian: melissa who ???Shampoo150: gavazzi, savannah's friendShampoo150: from the trolleySteVe0ThyVillian: oooo heh whats upShampoo150: no now i dont wanna talk to u loser lolSteVe0ThyVillian: didnt kno who u was sorryShampoo150: haha, I saw savannah finally lolSteVe0ThyVillian: whenShampoo150: last week I visited her at sam adams. hey can u tell me her number, my phone got stolen so i lost all my phone numbersShampoo150: and i didnt have hers written downSteVe0ThyVillian: no im sorrry i dont give her number outShampoo150: ok, ill just get it off my phone bill it will be on thereSteVe0ThyVillian: ok w/e is easy 4 uShampoo150: how are thigns goignSteVe0ThyVillian: goodShampoo150: how is workSteVe0ThyVillian: goodShampoo150: ur so livelySteVe0ThyVillian: thanxSteVe0ThyVillian: u like me or sumpin ?Shampoo150: ur joking rightSteVe0ThyVillian: yeah d/w bout itShampoo150: ok good, cuz u seem to think a lot of people like u and u are soooooo not my type no offence, ur cool and stuff but not my typeSteVe0ThyVillian: whut u mean by i seem 2 think lotta peepslike me ???Shampoo150: u thought lorraine liked uSteVe0ThyVillian: yeah cuz she came up 2 me and pretty much told me i she didShampoo150: what did she doShampoo150: sorry got booted, what did she saySteVe0ThyVillian: that i was cute n where i was from n how oldSteVe0ThyVillian: so there i dont think anything but fact so w/e i dun care whut u thinkShampoo150: im dont care that you dont care SteVe0ThyVillian: w/e melissa , n u were right at tha beginnin of this convo when u thought i didnt wanna tAlkShampoo150: jeez what is ur problemShampoo150: im only joking with uSteVe0ThyVillian: and i dont like u , i think yur an attention wantin lil whine bag so go n slit yur wrist across tha street instead of down cuz u want peeps 2 feel bad 4 uShampoo150: wtf???Shampoo150: what has gotten into you???SteVe0ThyVillian: nuttin whyShampoo150: that was a horrible thing to say, why would you say something like that?Shampoo150: I dont think Savannah would like that, she would never be that meanSteVe0ThyVillian: cuz its TRUE n im sorry the truth hurtsShampoo150: I have been nothing but nice to you, I am tryign to change my life and become a better person and here u are saying these awful thingsShampoo150: why would you ever wish someone dead?Shampoo150: what did I do to you? I just said you werent my typeSteVe0ThyVillian: i could care less if i was yur type , im juzt sayin i dont buy into yur propaganda melissa SteVe0ThyVillian: cuz yur how old ? and u act like yur fuckin 7SteVe0ThyVillian: sorry but peeps are more like me we dont give yur kind of attention whores the time of day Shampoo150: fuck youShampoo150: assholeShampoo150: i dont like your typeSteVe0ThyVillian: and i didnt wish death on u , juzt said if u was gonna cut yurself make sure u do it the right waySteVe0ThyVillian: lil whut type am i ?Shampoo150: people who pretend to be ur friend and like you, and then turn into assholesSteVe0ThyVillian: and im far from an asshole thank you Shampoo150: I will make sure I tell savannah what type of person you areSteVe0ThyVillian: actually i never said i was yur friend i was on civil with u cuz u was friends with savannahSteVe0ThyVillian: she knows better than u think u know attention whore Shampoo150: you were always very polite and nice, I dont know what brought this onShampoo150: IM FUCKING BEEN CHANING MY LIFE FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FAT UGLY ASSHOLESteVe0ThyVillian: oh cut tha crap and get over itShampoo150: YOU DONT FUCKIGN KNOW ME AND U DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IVE BEEN THROUGHShampoo150: DICKSteVe0ThyVillian: lol fat and ugly , yes indeed that is whut i am but thanks for the insults Shampoo150: go fuck yourself, assholeSteVe0ThyVillian: sure i do u tell yur life story to everyone like yur an MTV afternoon specialSteVe0ThyVillian: no thanks id rather not Shampoo150: wtf no i dontShampoo150: who the fuck do i tell my life story toSteVe0ThyVillian: im not mentioning any names SteVe0ThyVillian: stalkerSteVe0ThyVillian: Shampoo150: FFUUUUCK YOU\DONT EVER FUCKING CALL ME A STALKERShampoo150: YOU FUCKED UP PIECE OF SHITSteVe0ThyVillian: lol thank u SteVe0ThyVillian: isnt that why u got fired ??? for bein a stalker ?Shampoo150: no i got fired because it was the end of the summerShampoo150: and they had to let people goSteVe0ThyVillian: uh huh ... is that whut u tell yurself to sleep better at night ??Shampoo150: what the fuck why are you acting like thisI know I lost my temper, and I shouldn't have, but I was only joking. He was always very nice and I was always nice to him. I don't know what brought this on. I am shocked, and very hurt.
I need to change for me...not everyone else.
1. What Ryan says is right. I do think about him more when I'm single and I am hard to deal with. I am not mad at him for saying those things, I am mad at myself because they are true and I don't want to admit it.2. The world is speaking modern english and I am still speaking Chaucerian. I like things blunt, but I need to learn how to pick up on subtle hints (Evan not returning my emails) and not ignore them because I want people to be blunt.3. I need to take Ryan off the pedistal. It's holding me back from being "normal" friends with him. I understand he is where he wants to be in life and I am still trying to figure things out, and this also makes it tough. However nothing is impossible. It will take time, but eventually I can view him as a mentor and "normal" friend.4. I need to stop overcalling/overemailing people. I need to let people have a chance to call me back. I complain about people pretending to be my friend yet I call so much I never get a chance to see if they would really call back or if they are a shady friend. A real friend will return my calls/emails in ample time. 5. I have to learn how to handle problems on my own. I can't dump all my woes onto everyone else. It's a burden. I also need to learn how to handle things calmly and patiently and not lose my temper everytime something bad happens or I don't agree with something.6. I should want Ryan to be happy. Once I become more confident I will be able to view him as a normal friend. Everything is connected to my low confidence. Once I learn how to be more confident everything will fall into place.7. Therapy and meds help. I need to be diagnosed properly, and then not use what I have as an exuse everytime something bad happens. I need to accept the fact I may not be bipolar because my mood swings are triggered. I depend on it as a crutch as I do certain people, and I need to learn to stand on my own.
It's just not fair! When someone takes something of mine my mom tells me to shut up about it, and it never gets returned, but the second something of hers is missing, everyone has to drop what they are doing till it's found! I'm sick of this! I have to get out, I'm tired of being treated like I'm 12 just cause I still live with my mom.
( Really long rant with a lot of F bombsCollapse )
why do people suck so much? Why is everything always my fault?